Marriage According to the Scriptures: The Biblical Process of Taking a Wife
Introduction
Marriage was established by the Most High from the beginning of creation. Before there were churches, marriage licenses, wedding officiants, or state regulations, the Scriptures reveal a simple and practical process by which a man took a wife and established a household.
The examples of Adam and Eve, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and his wives, and Boaz and Ruth demonstrate recurring patterns that form the biblical model of marriage. While customs varied somewhat through different generations, the essential elements remained the same: a covenant commitment, family recognition, witnesses, and the establishment of a new household.
1. The Desire to Take a Wife
Marriage begins when a man seeks to take a wife.
The institution of marriage was established by God during creation.
Genesis 2:18
"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."
The purpose of marriage was companionship, family, and the continuation of future generations.
Genesis 2:24
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
From the beginning, marriage involved a man joining himself to a woman in a permanent covenant relationship.
2. Seeking the Woman and Her Family
Throughout Scripture, marriage was not treated as a private arrangement hidden from the family or community.
Abraham's servant approached Rebekah's family on behalf of Isaac.
Genesis 24:50-51
"Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the LORD... Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go."
Likewise, Jacob approached Laban regarding Rachel.
Genesis 29:18
"And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter."
The family played a role in recognizing and approving the marriage covenant.
3. The Marriage Gift or Dowry
One of the most common features of biblical marriage was the giving of a gift or bride price.
Jacob labored seven years for Rachel.
Genesis 29:18-20
Shechem offered both gifts and dowry for Dinah.
Genesis 34:12
"Ask me never so much dowry and gift, and I will give according as ye shall say unto me."
The Law also required a man who had taken a virgin to provide the customary marriage payment.
Exodus 22:16
"He shall surely endow her to be his wife."
The marriage gift demonstrated commitment and responsibility toward the woman and her family.
4. The Covenant Agreement
Marriage was not merely a romantic relationship. It was a covenant.
The prophet Malachi describes marriage as a covenant before God.
Malachi 2:14
"Yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant."
A covenant is a binding agreement entered into with commitment and responsibility. Marriage therefore involved more than feelings; it involved vows, obligations, and faithfulness.
5. Recognition Before Witnesses
Scripture repeatedly shows important agreements being established before witnesses.
One of the clearest examples is the marriage of Boaz and Ruth.
Ruth 4:9-11
"Ye are witnesses this day..."
The elders and people at the gate publicly witnessed the agreement.
This demonstrates that marriage was not intended to be secret but recognized before family, community, or lawful witnesses.
6. Receiving the Wife
After the covenant was established, the husband received the woman as his wife.
The example of Isaac and Rebekah illustrates this clearly.
Genesis 24:67
"And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife."
The woman entered the man's household and became part of his family.
Marriage therefore involved more than words; it included establishing a shared life and household.
7. Becoming One Flesh
The Scriptures describe husband and wife becoming one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
"And they shall be one flesh."
This expression describes the complete union of husband and wife, including their physical, emotional, and covenant relationship.
Through this union a new family was established according to God's design.
8. The Duties of Marriage
Marriage was not merely a status but a lifelong responsibility.
The husband was commanded to provide for and care for his wife.
Exodus 21:10
"Her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish."
The husband was also commanded to love his wife.
Ephesians 5:25
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church."
The wife was expected to honor and support her husband.
Together they formed a household dedicated to righteousness.
Was a Priest Required?
In all the biblical examples of marriage, there is no explicit command requiring a priest, prophet, or religious official to perform a marriage ceremony.
The marriages of Isaac, Jacob, Boaz, and many others were established through covenant, family recognition, witnesses, and the receiving of the wife.
The Scriptures consistently emphasize the covenant itself rather than a specific officiant.
Conclusion
The biblical pattern of marriage consists of several identifiable steps:
A man desires a wife.
The woman and her family are approached.
A marriage gift or dowry is provided.
A covenant agreement is established.
Witnesses recognize the covenant.
The husband receives the wife into his household.
The couple becomes one flesh.
Husband and wife fulfill their lifelong duties toward one another.
These principles appear throughout the Scriptures and form the foundation of biblical marriage. While customs and traditions have changed over time, the essential elements of covenant, commitment, witnesses, and family remain at the heart of marriage according to the Word of God.
This version stays closer to the Torah and historical narratives, avoids using Matthew 1 as evidence for a pre-consummation betrothal period, and focuses on the recurring marriage patterns found throughout Scripture.
